What is this thing called "internet"...

I tell ya, it's something I have at home now. Love it.

Where to begin... I have a couple of stories. Let's start of with...

Knock-off bag shopping in Dubai.

Replica, fake, imitation, knockoff... whatever your phrasing it's all the same thing. Only the shopping experience may differ. Now, I have been to Canal St. in NYC (and I've seen the CSI episode) but I have to say, Dubai knockoff shopping is tops. Five of us loaded into a Skoda Fabia (I dare you to google THAT) and headed out on E11 to the city of luxury, the city of over indulgence, Dubai... kinda sounds like to-buy when you say it fast huh? We maneuvered through the construction until we reached the Karama area. Picture dodgy streets, no parking, fabulous Indian restaurants combating with the stench of well cooked garbage bins, and a tiny area of stip malls in a quad. We made it.

{Editor's note: sound of angels singing should be heard in stereo now}

Fortunately we had an expert on hand. Erin, our seasoned vet had been through this process before. FYI, did you know you should ask the seller to burn the bag. Real leather won't burn in under 15 seconds but plastic will singe in a second. You can steal that tip. The process is this: walk into a shop, and then ask where the "good" bags are. Odds are they will take you upstairs. Once there, smile and say, "Now, where are the really good bags?" This is when secret doors will appear or a man will come to take you to another location hidden in an apartment or warehouse. We went through a secret panel in the wall and found the motherload of fabulous fakes. Louis, Hermes, Chanel and all their friends were living in this secret room. Bags, wallets, scarves, watches, sunglasses, bikinis (yes you read that right) were all there for the bartering.

Enter the bartering. You find the bags you like, show the seller your pile and start talking cash. They will start high and you will work slowly and painfully lower... swearing that if you hear "best price" one more time you might scream. Needless to say, I bought two. A Tod's and a Hermes Birkin bag... Both have a special place with me now. And the ONE bag I brought with me has been relegated to a drawer in the spare bedroom. It served me well. Adieu bag, adieu.

Come over and I'll take you shopping... You will never experience anything so odd in your life. And... at the end of it all, you could have a fabulous bag. Win-win.

Story number two... not nearly as fun.

My border run to Oman.

So my "visitor's" visa has run its course and I needed to leave the country and start it all over again. I went to Oman in a SUV our school HR man was driving... a man who has no regard for speed bumps, limits or laws. And he felt the need to buy us cheese bread covered in olives (ugh, dirt wheels) at 10:30 at night. The border is about 1.5 hrs away, one way, and the entire process took over 6 hours. Shoot me now. Talk about relaxed borders. I am not sure one man actually looked at my passport and compared it to me. I should have sent a lookalike.

The plus side: I went to another country. The downside: it was dark and I didn't see it for the 10 minutes I was there.

But... I am legal again.

That's it for now.

Miss me a little... it makes me feel good.

Pictures to follow.

Much love,
J.

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